Nothing quite says, “I don’t have my stuff together” like football carrying a flailing, screaming toddler outside of a public establishment in front of family and/or peers. Or strangers. They’ll send a cold shiver down your spine with the best of ‘em.

Pre-parenthood, the world of “kids and discipline” is nothing more than a sideline spectator sport in which each of us has engaged and thrown in our fair share of judgment calls. “If she would just do this…” and “If he would just do that…” — but then God gives you that precious little baby and he or she begins to grow into this thinking, feeling, personality wielding individual and you realize… this is a whole new ballgame and things look a whole lot different on this side of the fence. This little soul with which I’ve been entrusted for this time in the grand scheme of eternity really isn’t like anyone else’s. I have this little blank hard drive that’s filling quickly with ideas, thoughts, feelings, and ideologies based on how I respond to their victories and their failures, and the life I model before them.

And I quickly realize, “Lord! There is not enough fruit on my tree!” All the patience I thought I had, I really don’t. The long suffering, the joy, the peace, the kindness… I’m in need, Lord. And wouldn’t you know, it’s right there, in the midst of utter toddler meltdown and chaos when you feel like the tree of your sanity has been shaken to its absolute breaking point, that the God-Man Himself — Jesus Christ — steps in and rests His nail scarred hand on the shoulder of your emotions and you see just how long He has suffered with you. How often He has been, and is, so patient to teach, correct, train, and discipline you. Admittedly, there have been many times when I have had to sit down in the middle of the living room floor and ask my own child to forgive me for reacting in frustration instead of responding in love. We have been known to grab hands in the midst of a toy laden mess and call on the mercy and help that the Lord promised would be ours in time of need, because we – very often – are in just such a place.

In times of extreme toddler duress, I have been known to ask my mother, “What am I doing wrong?!” because *obviously* if my child is not perfect (!!) at all times and/or seasons it is a direct reflection on the success of failure of my parenting. Wrong! Yes, I said it. I’ve read behind some dear saints who have passed on to Glory now who either ruled their home with an iron fist or gave birth to saints – but I didn’t. My children are sinners, as am I (a redeemed one, praise God!) and honestly, sometimes you’ve done it all – read it all – gave it all – said it all – and poured the hot fudge of your love onto the top of those kids heads and they’re still (the most angelic!) little knuckleheads to walk the inhabited planet Earth.

But you know, parenthood just isn’t some pre-packaged meal deal where you know exactly what you’re getting, and that’s probably my most favorite part. I don’t know the intricacies of this brand new, never before researched or studied personality but I’ll get a front row seat to watch it unfold, and prayerfully one day be redeemed, through the precious blood of Jesus Christ. And while we’ve all been guilty of saying, “Oh, hopefully this will be an easy baby! A quiet baby! A baby that sleeps through the night! A baby that doesn’t cry and smiles and coos and has no issues whatsoever which would identify them as a member of the human race (y’all found one of those babies yet?), the reality is that God will use the unique circumstances in which He has ordained for our families and the unique little personalities, or quirks, or health issues, or special learning abilities for our sanctification and growth in Him.

So really, this isn’t a discipline how-to, what-to, don’t-do, or you-need-to — just a hug from a fellow comrade in the trenches.

And one closing question for the thinkers –

What have you ever learned of value that grace hasn’t taught you?