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Thoughts on Motherhood: Kids and Discipline

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Nothing quite says, “I don’t have my stuff together” like football carrying a flailing, screaming toddler outside of a public establishment in front of family and/or peers. Or strangers. They’ll send a cold shiver down your spine with the best of ‘em.

Pre-parenthood, the world of “kids and discipline” is nothing more than a sideline spectator sport in which each of us has engaged and thrown in our fair share of judgment calls. “If she would just do this…” and “If he would just do that…” — but then God gives you that precious little baby and he or she begins to grow into this thinking, feeling, personality wielding individual and you realize… this is a whole new ballgame and things look a whole lot different on this side of the fence. This little soul with which I’ve been entrusted for this time in the grand scheme of eternity really isn’t like anyone else’s. I have this little blank hard drive that’s filling quickly with ideas, thoughts, feelings, and ideologies based on how I respond to their victories and their failures, and the life I model before them.

And I quickly realize, “Lord! There is not enough fruit on my tree!” All the patience I thought I had, I really don’t. The long suffering, the joy, the peace, the kindness… I’m in need, Lord. And wouldn’t you know, it’s right there, in the midst of utter toddler meltdown and chaos when you feel like the tree of your sanity has been shaken to its absolute breaking point, that the God-Man Himself — Jesus Christ — steps in and rests His nail scarred hand on the shoulder of your emotions and you see just how long He has suffered with you. How often He has been, and is, so patient to teach, correct, train, and discipline you. Admittedly, there have been many times when I have had to sit down in the middle of the living room floor and ask my own child to forgive me for reacting in frustration instead of responding in love. We have been known to grab hands in the midst of a toy laden mess and call on the mercy and help that the Lord promised would be ours in time of need, because we – very often – are in just such a place.

In times of extreme toddler duress, I have been known to ask my mother, “What am I doing wrong?!” because *obviously* if my child is not perfect (!!) at all times and/or seasons it is a direct reflection on the success of failure of my parenting. Wrong! Yes, I said it. I’ve read behind some dear saints who have passed on to Glory now who either ruled their home with an iron fist or gave birth to saints – but I didn’t. My children are sinners, as am I (a redeemed one, praise God!) and honestly, sometimes you’ve done it all – read it all – gave it all – said it all – and poured the hot fudge of your love onto the top of those kids heads and they’re still (the most angelic!) little knuckleheads to walk the inhabited planet Earth.

But you know, parenthood just isn’t some pre-packaged meal deal where you know exactly what you’re getting, and that’s probably my most favorite part. I don’t know the intricacies of this brand new, never before researched or studied personality but I’ll get a front row seat to watch it unfold, and prayerfully one day be redeemed, through the precious blood of Jesus Christ. And while we’ve all been guilty of saying, “Oh, hopefully this will be an easy baby! A quiet baby! A baby that sleeps through the night! A baby that doesn’t cry and smiles and coos and has no issues whatsoever which would identify them as a member of the human race (y’all found one of those babies yet?), the reality is that God will use the unique circumstances in which He has ordained for our families and the unique little personalities, or quirks, or health issues, or special learning abilities for our sanctification and growth in Him.

So really, this isn’t a discipline how-to, what-to, don’t-do, or you-need-to — just a hug from a fellow comrade in the trenches.

And one closing question for the thinkers –

What have you ever learned of value that grace hasn’t taught you?

Thoughts on Motherhood: Our Children and Trials

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It’s 10PM. The lamp shining in our bedroom gives off enough light to permeate the dark hallway and sneak through the nursery door I left a quarter of the way open. Her little features glow against the dim backdrop as I skim the outline of her face with my fingers… the little lips, cheeks, and nose of an almost two year old. We’re currently living in that ‘baby/toddler tension’ – yet here she is – still my little baby, startled awake a couple of hours after bedtime, just needing to snuggle into her momma. She’s wrapped up all kinds of cozy and I’m glad I ‘had’ to come to her rescue. I can’t bring myself to put her back to bed yet even though she has been asleep for awhile. I wonder if there’s a sweeter feeling in the whole world than this that I’m feeling right here and I can feel my heart start beating fast. The emotions of motherhood come fast and strong. Hot tears streak my face as I hold my baby and think about the traumas of life – a mother who quite literally lost her entire world after a vacation tragedy in Branson – and here I am, holding my heart in my hands, struggling with the thought that she can’t stay here in the safety of this moment forever.

She’ll go through things, hard things – possibly even traumatic things – that, prayerfully, will forge a heart that’s fixed towards Heaven. Maybe it will be rejection that trains her eyes to look to Jesus, and not man, for the fulfillment of every good thing and desire in this life and the life to come. Maybe ridicule will teach her the grace of compassion. Maybe loss will encourage her to store up her treasures on eternity’s side where rust and moth won’t destroy. Maybe a few hard lessons learned from rattling off at the mouth will reinforce God’s wisdom in being slow to speak and quick to listen. Those things are hard to even write, much less imagine my child experiencing, because we momma’s would fight tooth and nail to transfer whatever pain our children might face onto ourselves to spare them the trauma, sickness, sorrow, or grief that this life might have in store.

But, obviously, that’s not possible. I can’t spare my child from the sometimes painful realities that come with life, but I have to be quick to lean on the truth that the Lord of Glory bankrupted all of Heaven, sparing no expense in sending His Son Jesus, Who has “…born our griefs and carried our sorrows…” (Isa. 53:4). Tonight, I’m remembering, treasuring, the thought that all the while – as she continues to invite the presence of God into her life through faith and repentance in the shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ – the Lord will be faithful to gather up the broken pieces of her life, the painful shards that issue from the sudden impact of living in a fallen world, and will fit them into something, and build her into someone, that will most reflect Himself at the end of this life.

We had such a good day today; just an overall ‘pleasant’ day. I can’t say that for everyday, but today, emotions were steady, meals were enjoyed, lots of I love you’s were spoken, and happy toddler squeals were heard. But, and I know this from personal experience, it won’t (entirely) be her good days that aid her in attaining to the fullness of the stature God is calling her to be in Christ Jesus. It will be a lot of the hard days, all filled with sin, grace, mercy, and forgiveness – received and extended – that will do the greatest ‘heart work’ this side of Heaven. And God is faithful. This world… it’s all passing away. This life is but a preparatory school for Heaven (if we know Him) and He’s too good to allow one trial to be wasted.

 

Way of the Cross Shreveport

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Over the last half of 2017, we were oft met with the question, “What are ya’ll doing these days?”, to which we would reply, “Waiting on the Lord!”

‘Waiting on the Lord’ may not be en vogue with modern culture, but it’s still the way the Lord chooses to work many times in the hearts of individuals to remind us that our greatest Gospel work this side of Glory is simply knowing Jesus, not ‘doing all the things.’ Obviously we are not oblivious to the great need for the preaching of the Gospel or the needs that accompany it (especially in this last hour), but we were gently spurned on to remember that our greatest work unto the Lord always – and without fail – flows out of our greatest intimacy with the Lord. 

Helping to plant and establish a new church was not on our radar. Honestly, I’m grieved when I see the sheer number of churches in any given small town, USA – all within a couple of miles of each other. We live in a land that should be ‘flooded with light,’ yet we have more darkness and division than ever. Please hear my heart when I say, praise God for all of those churches out there – big and small – that are still preaching the Gospel and desiring a move of God’s Spirit among their people, but if you’re a believer with any discernment at all of the times in which we live, you understand that a simple google search of churches in your area is going to yield a LOT of different ‘gospels’ being preached from any given pulpit. It’s common for people to say, “Well people interpret the Bible a lot of different ways. Just live your truth!” But that’s not right or biblical. There’s one truth, one answer for every ill that ails mankind — Jesus Christ and Him crucified — and we don’t shy away from saying that just because it’s not popular.

So, this is us, saying that we don’t have a ‘launch team,’ or ‘agenda,’ or a five year vision cast presentation that we could show you, but we do have one clear mission: souls. We don’t have a target age group or social stratum, but a burning desire that any hungry, broken, sin sick soul – young and old, rich and poor – would come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, living the abundant, victorious, overcoming life that He paid for them to have on Calvary’s Cross. We’re probably not even close to being politically correct, because politics has never saved anybody. While it would never be our ‘goal’ to offend anybody, we recognize that the Gospel in itself is offensive to the natural heart of man, and sometimes it has to cut before it heals (Mt. 11:6; 1 Cor. 2:4; Heb. 4:12).

To that end, the Lord led us to the Shreveport-Bossier area this past November of 2017 where we established Way of the Cross Church. If you’re in the area and are a part of a good, Gospel preaching church, we rejoice with you and encourage you to dig in to the Word and work of God where He has planted you. We implore those of you who may just be looking on from afar to lift us up in prayer because the harvest is truly plentiful here and we can’t do what God has called us to do without the help of the Holy Spirit. If you’re in the area and would like to visit us sometime, please contact us! We have several meeting places at this point until the Lord leads us to move forward in the procurement of a more permanent location, so calling and/or texting us is the best way to find out where we will be having service.

Our current meeting times are as follows:
– Sundays @ 10AM
– Wednesdays @ 6:30PM

You can contact us through the following means to find out our meeting location:
– Email: thehoffmanherald@gmail.com
– Call/Text: (318) 480.1351

We love you and we pray that you are encouraged to continue to “fight the good fight of faith (1 Tim. 6:12)” today, throwing the weight of your trust on your God who cannot fail! Thank you for agreeing with us in prayer and for standing with us in faith as we go forward with Jesus, preaching and teaching Message of the Cross (1 Cor. 1:18).

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that
 while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

 

“As You Have Received Christ Jesus”

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     “As you have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk you in Him.”          Colossians 2:6

If there is one thing that is natural for human beings, even Christians, that is operating in independence. Watching a little child grow, it’s natural for them want to become self-sufficient and do things “on their own.” While independence is good in the growth of a child, there is no place for it in the growth of the child of God. No where in Scripture are we taught to become more ‘independent’ as we grow in the Lord, but in fact, to become more dependent. Jesus said in John 15:5, “I am the vine, you are the branches: He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit: for without me you can do nothing.“ In the title verse, Paul was exhorting Christians, who would be facing persecution and deception, to not forget the fundamentals of their faith but to order their lives by them each day. How did they receive salvation? By simple child-like faith in Christ and what He accomplished on the Cross.  What do coaches do when their team begins to make mistakes? They go back to the fundamentals! As a follower of Christ, we must always remember how we first received Him (by grace through faith in Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice on Calvary), and daily order our life by looking to the Cross as the object our faith. How did you receive Him? Not by any good work, merit, or righteous effort on your part – but by simple faith in the blood of Jesus.

The word “walk” in Colossians 2:6 speaks of “ordering one’s life,” meaning we are to approach each day with the same child-like faith that we expressed when we first got saved. Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” (Luke 9:23) Taking up our cross is not a religious activity we perform, but rather the direction of faith we choose. As we daily direct our faith back to the Cross of Christ, the Holy Spirit will have free reign to change and empower us, supplying to us all the benefits for which Christ died. If we attempt to “move beyond the Cross” (as some teach) we will, in fact, backslide. The shed blood of Jesus Christ is the only thing that pleases the Father and He calls us to renew our faith in it every single day. In so doing, we will experience the “life and life to the full”  that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10.

Each day, our prayer ought to be: “Lord, today I am just as incapable of producing any fruit of worth on my own, and I need your mercy and grace to help me. I place my faith in the Blood of Jesus today, just as I did when first surrendered to You, and ask for the help of Your Holy Spirit to make me what I ought to be and change me from what I am.”

In Christ,

Aaron Hoffman